Back to December
by TheRealPrimroseEverdeen
Summary: What if Katniss had written Peeta a letter while he was in Snow's clutches? What if nobody knew about it except for Katniss? What would it say? Well this is that letter. One-shot.


_**Just an idea that came to me while listening to Back to December which is actually where I get a lot of my ideas from. Basically what if Katniss wrote a letter to Peeta in District 13 before they knew if he was alive or not. She finally tries to get her feelings out on paper and starts with where The Hunger Games ends and Catching Fire starts. Enjoy:)**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games or Back to December. They belong to Suzanne Collins, and Taylor Swift.**_

 _ **Random Fun Fact- Taylor Swift is a huge fan of The Hunger Games Trilogy. Anyways onto the story.**_

* * *

 _Dear Peeta,_ _July 23_

 _I don't know if you're alive or not but I'm hoping you're alive and okay, however I know even if you're alive you're suffering at the hands of Snow. I want you to know if I could I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat. They want me to be the Mockingjay, I'm not sure if I should accept it or not. That's just like me huh? I don't even know why I'm doing this since there's a chance you're not even...well living. But I want you know that if you are alive, I'm going to get you out of there as soon as I can. Anyways, on the train to the Quarter Quell we said we'd write letters, neither of us planned on returning to District 12 alive. I didn't plan on writing a letter because you know how bad I am with words, but I'm going to try. You deserve to know how I feel about you, and Gale. I only love Gale like a brother, nothing more. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it but the rest of this letter I'm going to try to let you know how I feel about you. You deserve the best, and while I know I'm not the best for some reason you chose me out of all the other girls in the district. I tried to make this next part as special as you deserve, but I think it falls short._

 _I'm so glad you made time to see me, How's life, tell me how's your family?I haven't seen them in a while_

 _You've been good, busier then ever, We small talk, work and the weather, Your guard is up and I know why_

 _Because the last time you saw me, Is still burned in the back of your mind, You gave me roses and I left them there to die,So this is me swallowing my pride, Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night_

 _And I go back to December all the time, It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine, I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right, I go back to December all the time._

 _These days I haven't been sleeping, Staying up playing back myself leaving. When your birthday passed and I didn't call, And I think about summer, all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side, And realized I'd loved you in the fall, And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind, You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye. So this is me swallowing my pride, Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night, And I go back to December all the time_

 _It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine, I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind, I go back to December all the time, I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,_

 _And how you held me in your arms all those nights, The first time you ever saw me cry. Maybe this is wishful thinking, Probably mindless dreaming, But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right. I'd go back in time and change it but I can't. So if the chain is on your door, I understand, But this is me swallowing my pride, Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night, And I go back to December, It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine, I'd go back to December turn around and make it all right. I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time all the time._

 _So if you couldn't tell, which you probably could, since you seem to know me better than I know myself, this was me trying to tell you I love you, and all of it was real, in the first and second games. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. The next time I see you whether it be in the after-life or in this life I promise to show you just how much I love you. Hang in there for me, we're coming for you as soon as possible. When you come back the first thing I'm gonna do is kiss you, and I'll be hugging you so tight you won't be able to breathe. And that's not even half of how much I love you._

 _Love,_

 _Katniss_

 ** _What do you think?_**


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